I have been asked by a few friends to give an account of how I went from Atheist to devote follower of Christ. So here I am attempting to do just that. It was along journey and it had many events that eventually ended me where I am. It may not be as miraculous or meaningful as some might think, yet it was God working in every moment and in every way. I was not raised in a religious family we went to church on Sunday because that was what you were suppose to do. I sang in the choir because I liked to sing, I went to youth because I had friends there. I never really understood all the hoopla about this Christ character and the bible, in fact I was sure that most of it was made up and untrue. My parents were for the most part good people, normal people or at least what I thought was normal. Church on Sunday, drinking and cussing Monday - Saturday. We owed a bar and restaurant and that is just what we did.
As I grew in to my teenage years I was always fascinated by science and philosophy. I knew that between the two I could find all the answers I would ever need. For the most part I did find many answers. I had friends who were Christian and some very devout they could not do this or that and I found that very legalistic and what I thought unfair. I believed my answers were better an all that I needed. it was in these years of my life my mom had an affair my dad left and they eventually got divorced. I always thought that if there was a God why was my life so miserable? My mom married my step-father and he treated me like crap. I was for all intents and purposes just in his way. It was survival of the fittest and I was not going to let him win. My Christian friends would offer to pray for me and would tell me it was not God's fault. I would chastise them and tell them I did not need there fairytale and if this what God was like I had no need of Him. I jumped back into my books, my science and my philosophy and that is where I lived until I graduated.
After high school I joined the military which was family tradition. The men in my family have served in every branch of the service for hundreds of years. My choice was the Navy. In boot camp we went to church because to not do otherwise meant you worked while others went. I took that free time to nap and rest. I really liked being in the military and was going to make that my carrier. Then another massive blow came to my life. I had always had astigmatism and it was correctable with glasses. At a yearly physical the eye doctor noticed something and did some more intensive test. It turns out I had a very rare form of astigmatism and that was unacceptable to the Navy and I was quickly discharged. Another disappointment in my life and another reason to believe there is no God. Back to my nooks, my science and my philosophy still looking for answers.
There were more disappointments to follow and there was some joy also. I married and we adopted a baby girl. That was pure joy she was the light of my life and I raised her for the first three years because I could not find work after being fired from a job I loved. More joy was to come 4 years later when we had a boy a son that would carry on the family name. I found no need for God I was doing fine on my own. The local Baptist church would pick my ids friends up for Sunday school and they were invited to go so off they went. After three or four months they decided that they had better things to do and quit going. A group came by from the church and we talked and they notice a couple of scratches on my sons back. I told them he is a boy and a rough house and these thing just happen. Next thing I know CPS is at my door and I have been accused of child abuse. I thought wow what great Godly people they must be. Because I do not god to church I must beat my kids. I was cleared off all wrong doing and vowed that my kids would never attend church again and I would invite them in when the y visited and tell them how wrong they were and how their God was not real and they lived a world of fantasy.
Skip ahead many years and my wife's sister tells her that she has married a Mormon and that they have all the answers and are wonderful people, And n truth many of them are and many are not. My wife then took our children and jumped in with both feet. We had missionaries over for dinner every week and I would grill them relentlessly. Then the church and her friends became more important than her husband. I sought solace in other places and had an affair. After this I did want to save my marriage and did all I can to make things right. But there was no making it right without the church and her church friends getting in the way. End ended in divorce and I was alone again. This was all the church and God's fault this fairytale had ruined my life again. This time taking my family with it.
After a year or so I met a woman on line and we started to hit it off we talked and chatted for hours for over a year. When we finally met it was love at first sight. She said she believed in God and was a Christian but had not gone to church in years and that was ok with me. We married and life was once again good. After three years of pure happiness she met a friend who invited her to find a church. My first thoughts were here we go again. She asked if I would go and I told her to find a church and when she does I will go with her. I would go but only to support her and be with her and to make sure they did not brainwasher like they did my first wife.
She found a church and invited my every Sunday and every Sunday I found a reason not to go. I could see she was disappointed but held my ground. One Sunday she came looking especially down and I asked what was wrong. She told me people would ask her to lunch but she felt guilty leaving me at home alone. I assured I was fine and she should go , but she insisted that she would not go without me. So with the promise of a good lunch I went with her. The people seemed nice enough , but I had seen that before the smiles and the handshakes only to be followed by the preverbal stab in the back. I to this day cannot tell you what the preach talked on that day but I can tell you I had to go back. And I went back again and again.
For many nights after that first Sunday I began to ponder the meaning of life an the meaning of my life to be more precise. All the things that had happened and how many times I had denied there was such a thing as a loving caring God because of the thing sin my life that hurt and made no sense to me. The message they were giving made no sense yet at the same time it made sense. I had dreams very vivid dreams about Christ standing before me and walking with me asking why I hated Him so much. Why I was doing all I could to deny Him when all He wanted to do was help. I began to realize that everything i had gone through in life the good and the bad was what made me who I and that it was all part of a bigger plan to bring me to this point.
After a few weeks the church offered a class call Christianity 101 my wife wanted to go I was still a bit hesitant but went with her. The class was designed to teach the basics of the Christian life an what they believed. I was sure I had heard it all before and would still not have any answers, but that bigger plan was still beginning to take shape. There came a time in that class where we were offered the opportunity to pray to God for salvation. Much to my surprise I prayed that prayer. Upon completion there was a sense of peace and a lifting of a burden off me that defines explanation. When asked if anyone had prayed with tears in my eyes I raised my hand, my began to cry as did the pastor. My journey was no under way. It was the hardest thing i had every done and yet was the easiest thing I had every done. it was a moment that would change the direction of my life forever.
I went home that day a changed man a man of God not a man against God. I have dyslexia I have suffered with it my entire life and in many ways I still do (thanks to spell check you can read this) Yet when I got home and opened my bible for the first time I could read it and there was no dyslexia and whenever I open God's Word even to this day it is not there. I have since dedicated my life to a service of God. I can take all that I know all that I experienced as an Atheist as a man, as a husband and a father. I can take all my failures and my success and help those that are lost like I was find the truth and love in God. I am presently making arrangements to return to school to get my degree in ministry and teach and speak on a regular basis at Church. That is my story of How I got to where I am and what I believe. May those who read this be blessed and understand that we are all on a journey and that journey may take many a winding path. But it is your journey and yours alone and I pray that it leads you to happiness as I have found mine.