I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love her and honor her and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me.
The act of being faithful was put first in this statement because without faithfulness there is no love and there is no honor. We live in a world that is permeated with sexuality. Pornography is available at the click of a button. Sex is used to sell everything from work boots to salad dressing. Faithfulness to some means not acting upon and impulse, to not have sex outside of marriage and that is indeed a good thing. We have often heard sayings as "It does not hurt to look". However in my heart I find that to be lacking and in my heart I know it does hurt. Jesus says in Matthew 5:27-28 that to look upon a woman with lust is committing adultery in your heart. It is not just a physical act but it is an act of the heart. God looks at the heart, what is in the heart of a man. I had to question myself am I really being faithful to my wife if I am looking at other woman? My answer in truth was a resounding no. Job took his faithfulness very seriously to the point of making a covenant with his eyes to not look upon another woman. Realistically in today's world unless I were to walk around with a blind fold that would not be possible. I have seen many times where I have fallen short of this standard and new that I was good enough but felt that I need to be better that God expect more. What I can do is make that covenant by avoiding clicking that button on the computer, not browsing through the magazines at the news stand, avoid shows on TV and movies that are overtly sexual in nature. My wife deserves my full faithfulness beyond what the world expects of me, she deserves the type of faithfulness that God expects of me.
With the faithfulness comes honor. I had to ask do I honor my wife and what does that mean? Beyond the act of being faithful how do I honor her? I honor her with my actions by being faithful and being a man of integrity that she can respect. She is indeed a gift from God and deserves only my best. She is a wonderful woman of God and has given me her best. Over and over again in the book of Proverbs Solomon shows the value of a good wife 12:4 “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband", 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing." 19:14 “a prudent wife is from the Lord” 31:10-11” Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain” I honor her by realizing that I am so much more with her. I honor her by not being a good husband but by being the husband God wants me to be.
Love can mean so many things today; I love my car, my dog and my job. I am to love my wife. To me this did not seem to be a very new revelation. I do love my wife I am a good husband. Even as a good husband I fall short if the husband God wants me to be. Over and over is Scripture it is said that when a man and a woman are joined they become “one flesh”. One flesh, if I were to loose an arm of a leg I would be handicapped and limited. If I were to loose my eyes I could not see my ears I could not hear. Marriage today has become a throw away commodity. People so concerned about their own happiness that when the tough times hit and the happiness comes into to question they leave. When the find the next best thing whether that be another man or another woman they leave. If indeed we are one flesh to leave would be like removing your own eye or arm or leg the pain would be so intense that it would prevent you from finish or even contemplating the act. Ephesian say “So husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself” Love my wife as I love myself, to remove the idea that I am self-centered and become “us” centered. Many marriages end because there becomes a lack of physical contact. We get mad or bitter or bored and withhold that very thing we crave physical contact. 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does” Once again we seen this wonderful concept of one flesh. There is a warning later on in the same chapter that if we fail to follow this that is when temptation and lack of self control can enter in and it can devastate a marriage relationship. I again read this and thought I am good here, and again God convicted me and said I do not want good enough. I was directed to Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” Love my wife as Christ loved the church? Christ’s love for the church was greater than any love we could imagine. He pursued the church with love, He forgave the church for their sins when they asked and repented, He healed them, taught them, and He came in humility and love. He did not rule over them but led by example showing them the right path by living the right path. But greatest of all He served them and was loyal to them even unto His death on the cross. He gave His very life so that they would be saved. He entire life was dedicated to their service, their spiritual growth, and their happiness. There was no pride, no self only love. I have no problem loving my friends, my children and my church family. But loving my wife as Christ loved the church? When this revelation came to me I realized that I was far from being the husbanded that God wanted me to be. I went to my wife with tears in my eyes and asked her to forgive me for not upholding my obligation to being the best I can be. She at first was a bit confused always knowing I was a good husband and then when I told her what was in my heart and what God had shown me she to had tears and we held each other and prayed thanking God for His mercy and wisdom. “One flesh” that is what we are called to be and on that day I realized we realized the true potential of that kind of love. I do not ever want to be a good husband, I will always strive to be the husband God wants me to be.